Spending quality time with Dad is so important, even magical. It can heal hurts, solve deep problems, raise self-esteem, or calm shaky anxiety.
This time is important for both Dad and child, but is initiated by Dad first.
If the Dad has put enough “deposits” in with his children through the years, then his children will decide to spend more and more time with him throughout their lifetime.
What is quality time with Dad? For our family, with 2 kids, now teenagers, one leaving for college in 33 days, these are some ideas we came up with. You can read more about our family here.
Here are some ideas to make your “Dad Time” meaningful and magical.
- 1. Read Together
- 2. Play With Them
- 3. Go To Appointments With Them
- 4. Take Them To Church With You
- 5. Ask About Their Interests & Listen
- 6. Teach Them Kindness & Compassion
- 7. Put Them Before Work & Play
- 8. Go On A Drive With Them
- 9. Be A Great Teacher
- 10. Be Kind To Their Mother
- 11. Help With Their Homework
- 12. Pray With Them
- 13. Apologize First
- 14. Tell Them When You Are Angry & Why
- 15. For Quality Dad Time Be Silly Together
- 16. Laugh Together
- 17. Cry Together for Quality Time with Dad
1. Read Together
Even in the womb, reading to your child is bonding. They get used to your voice, your laughter, and the timing in your speech. Your quality time with your child can start very early.
A few years later, reading to them becomes storytelling and exciting. They listen to the words and imagine what is happening. This time is so magical because it is bonding in so many ways!
Your voice while you read is calming and meaningful, so is your touch as you lay with them, but MAINLY, it’s your TIME that makes a very GOOD DEEP SCAR of LOVE & DEDICATION on them.
The kids later want to read by themselves and they value education. Then, finally, let the kids read to you, even as young adults. Put everything down (including your phone) and just listen. This is some of the best quality time with Dad possible.
An amazing connection is there, and a story can be shared and enjoyed together, with both imaginations creating the scene instead of our vast electronic world creating it for us.
Reading out loud to one another is a wonderful way to spend time together, one of our favorites (still!).
2. Play With Them
Play with them as much as you can.
When they are little, smile with them, play tickle monster and hide-n-go-seek. Run with them in the rain, and let them chase you (and catch you).
Play with the pets with them, chasing each other, throwing the ball for the dog, or with a hose with the pets. Read more about our dog here.
When they are young, play with them in their make-believe world, or let your daughter do your make-up or do your hair. They will remember this fondly for life.
Make the sounds of the cars, planes and super heroes as they fly around. Hold them up as they “fly” as heroes around the world. Eat the fake ice cream, make a mud pie, build the lego city or the batman cave.
Be the “dead” prince who comes to life with a kiss, or the prisoner who get rescued by superman. Next, throw with them. Use a ball that won’t hurt their face when it hits their lips.
Teach them how to ride a scooter and then a bike. Play their sport of choice with them, or listen to their instrument of choice in a professional concert recording. Learn the Wii, Xbox or Playstation.
This type of quality time with Dad is irreplaceable & priceless. They will never forget it and a little goes a long way.
3. Go To Appointments With Them
Go to their Doctors appts, Teachers Meeting, ER visits.
Protect them from incompetent nurses or doctors. Come to their aide and argue for their good. Listen to the doctors when they come in, learn what is happening and be your child’s advocate.
Stand up for them with unfair or lazy teachers, BUT make your kids tell the truth and take responsibility for their actions in school. Go to teacher-parent meetings, listen for the good & amazing things about your child, and repeat that to them later. Work with them about anything not so good, and come up with a plan “together”.
ALWAYS go the ER (if you possibly can) if they are there and sit with them or pace if you need to. Sometimes these gifts of your attention and protection are never seen, and they may not know you are defending them at the moment, but they will.
Make sure the best is being done for them in any setting. Make it clear that they can count on you, and with you around, they are taken care of.
This quality time with Dad is deeply meaningful and mostly unspoken, which is an amazing thing about Dad’s and their love. It’s very often not spoken, so we need all could learn to appreciate all of our Dad’s unspoken affection, service and/or protection. Even when we don’t hear their words of praise or affection, most of us have seen it.
4. Take Them To Church With You
Take them to church with you, no matter what your religion. Teach them to honor your beliefs and the path to educate themselves so they can one day find and honor their own religious path.
Guide but don’t force.
Show with examples in action, not words. Our world is full of so many hypocrites and false words of people claiming to be acting in the “word of God” as they spew hatred and intolerance. Quality time with Dad can be a huge learning period about God. Dad’s will make many mistakes, and so will the kids, so it’s what we do with those mistakes that teaches the children.
Help them recognize the good in most people and the gift it is to serve others….but also to have firm boundaries for those who only take.
5. Ask About Their Interests & Listen
Talk about what’s important to your kids: sports, cinderella, video games, butterflies, mud, flowers. What ever they want to talk about probably isn’t your favorite subject, but it is right now!!
Find out what’s important to them and listen. Ask questions about them and what matters to them. Ask, then stay quiet and let them think. Even for a few minutes. Once they answer, don’t respond.
Keep asking, and follow a subject they like for a long time. Lead the conversation so that they get to tell you every little detail about the subject.
For example, if your child is saying that they love Blue. You could ask, “what type of blue do you like? Light blue, royal blue? Why do you like blue? What about it is your favorite?” You can replace the word “blue” with anything they are saying.
Try to show sincere interest in learning about what is important to them. This quality time with Dad starts with small bits of information but can grow to hours of conversation after some time.
Their interests will change often, and they love it when you keep up.
Each year, repeat.
6. Teach Them Kindness & Compassion
Show them how to treat animals, older people, disabled friends, the homeless and war veterans.
Volunteer where they will see and meet those in need, and show compassion and understanding. Give time and what money you can to help others without speaking of it again.
Expect nothing in return and show your kids how to serve others.
Show a smile, a hello and eye contact to someone in a modified wheelchair whom most people are ignoring, and a handshake and a heartfelt thank you to any soldier.
Teach respect to older people (even when they are grumpy), and treat all animals with gentleness and respect.
They are watching you, and leading them into kindness, compassion & respect will serve them their entire life.
7. Put Them Before Work & Play
Spend time with them before you golf, go to a bar or spend extra time at work. Quality time with Dad takes time. But, it has huge payoffs.
This is the factor that makes a big difference: your dedication of TIME with them.
When you make the sacrifice & put spending time with them as your priority, even when you’d rather golf, this dedication will come back 10 fold.
Remember the song “Cats in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin? Keep this in mind as you choose other things over your kids.
8. Go On A Drive With Them
Go on drives with your kids and listen to music & sing in the car. They love this when they are younger, to be able to really sing loud with you.
When your kids get a little older, and can sit in the front seat, go on longer drives them. With teens, this type of quality time with Dad is very valuable.
Take them separately, for one-on-one time to listen to their music or let them talk to you without responding.
This is the time to learn to listen.
Ask their 5 top career choices and keep track of them. I write them down in my phone.
Let them dream, and tell you different ideas as you drive. Nothing they say is wrong, bad or silly. Nothing is off-limits. Encourage big ideas, crazy ideas.
Don’t respond. Just stay quiet and listen.
I have been able to get my kids to talk about some very personal things once I put in hours of just listening to the other stuff.
Driving is like magic for communicating with teens.
9. Be A Great Teacher
You are one of their most important Teachers in their entire life!
Teach them things: how to read, paint, how to ride a bike, how to cook, do chores, how to study, how to pray and meditate, how to exercise, how to love themselves.
All of these are shown by example, and you won’t be able to do all of them with grace and confidence, but do your best.
I think that we often assume, as adults, that kids know how to do the simple things, like run, plant a plant, boil water, spray cleaner and wash a window. Daily tasks is one of the most memorable quality time with Dad moments for many people. The kids remember a certain task their Dad taught them.
Take them with you to do the simple, daily things like watering the lawn, putting a book shelf together, checking out a book at the library, etc.
These are often taken for granted, but they all matter.
What my kids have enjoyed most about learning: Grocery Shopping!! Who knew? I love to do the grocery shopping. So, I’ve shown my kids where to find the food, how to read a food label, how to determine if a “sale” is really worth it. If buying in bulk is best or not, and which name brands really matter or not.
They are watching, so be your best teacher to them.
10. Be Kind To Their Mother
It doesn’t matter if you are married or not, the way you, as the Dad treat their Mother will make a huge impact on how they view women & Moms.
I’m happily married, so this is much easier for me. But, if you are not together with their Mom, try your hardest to be kind, at least & keep your cool.
Bring her flowers and chocolates for no reason.
Remember her birthday, anniversary, and any other dates important to her.
Apologize to her in front of them, and try to make her smile.
Joke with her, but not too much, and NEVER disrespect her in front of them (or apologize immediately if you do).
Take her on dates, and speak kindly & lovingly to her. Defend her and include her in everything.
Tell her that she looks beautiful, pretty, bright, gorgeous and other good words you can think of.
Show them how to treat their wife some day, and how to be treated as a wife by their husband.
Here’s a related post:
“If You Want Happy Kids, Love Each Other”
11. Help With Their Homework
As often as you can, help with their homework.
Get the supplies they need for a project as soon as they request them.
Don’t do the work for them, but support good study habits and encourage what that might look like.
Provide lighting, chairs & a table, highlighters, erasers, calculators and anything else to help organize their education and home study area.
Let them see you reading, budgeting, planning, and doing your own type of studying. Sometimes, the quality time with Dad comes from them observing us, and again this is wordless.
When my kids were young, they would often grab a book and come sit next to me while I was reading and “read” their book, even before they knew how to read.
Study habits are important, and are not talked about enough (in my opinion). Show them what it looks like to be quiet and focused on a project, book, paper.
12. Pray With Them
Pray with them, for meals, to give thanks for things, and at night.
Show them how to pray & what to say.
Let them see you praying or meditating, and invite them to join you.
Answer their questions about prayer, God, death, good and evil.
Let them explore options without judgement, and show how you find comfort and why.
Encourage prayer when they are upset, and show breathing deeply and how to calm yourself.
13. Apologize First
When you were rude to your kids or yelled, or you were unfair, apologize.
Go to them, ask permission to talk to them, then say you are sorry for…. Allow them to respond, but don’t expect it.
Apologize for the sake of having a respectful relationship with them. But don’t apologize if you don’t need to. Quality time with Dad here is learning how to be humble, which will dissolve lots of future frustration and regret.
14. Tell Them When You Are Angry & Why
Tell them when you are angry. When they have been rude, or lied, or not done a chore, go to them, ask permission to talk to them, and say you are angry and sad because they….
Be honest. Be quick (not over wordy). Be straight forward.
“I’m angry with you and sad about your behavior when you didn’t do your chores and then lied about it. I want to be able to trust you, and your behavior is not what we had agreed upon, and I’m hurt. The consequence for your behavior is to give me your phone tonight and to do the dishes for the next 5 days. If you complain about either of those, another day is added of both.”
Then walk out. They can respond later, but not right now.
15. For Quality Dad Time Be Silly Together
Be silly & playful, even when they are teens. Be a model for your daughter, dance a silly dance and let them take a video. Quality time with Dad is the BEST when Dad can be silly & playful.
Do a Face mask, fill up water balloons, have a food fight, show the silly side and make a mess.
The more you try embarrassing things and show your silly side, the easier it is for them to laugh at themselves. Life gets so serious and tools to calm the inner storm are invaluable.
16. Laugh Together
Laugh at yourself and show them not to take themselves too seriously.
See silly movies together, and do silly and funny dances together. Let them laugh at you without getting angry.
You can watch some funny movies together to encourage laughter, and when you laugh, laugh out loud and from the belly. Quality time with Dad laughing is just the best! When we laugh and someone we care about is laughing also, it’s a great feeling.
This type of laughter is so very healing for the body and can relieve huge amounts of stress. Show them how to use laughter as stress relieve, and to seek it out when they need it.
17. Cry Together for Quality Time with Dad
Cry with them. Hug them. Hold them. Stroke your daughter’s hair.
Hold your son tight.
Just cry together on the days in which this needs to happen.
Life happens.
Be huggable. Be present.
Try not to hold things in.
Watch Fried Green Tomatoes, Meet Joe Black or Avengers: Infinity War with them to encourage crying if needed.
Don’t stay dry. Cry. ?
Conclusion of Quality Time with Dad
Quality time with Dad is so important for both child and father. We hope some of these ideas can work for you like they have worked for our family.
Here are some related articles:
There are so many other ways to spend quality time with Dad, but this was a good start. What have been your favorite Dad Time moments??
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