All of us could describe happiness differently, and family is also a term that is fluid and very personal. So, what is your definition of a happy family?
A happy family is a family who stays respectfully close & playful, chooses laughter daily and doesn’t sweat the small stuff; they express forgiveness soon, speak kindly about and to each other, and support each other’s big & small moments. They have learned to be better listeners and to admit when we are wrong as quickly as possible, while honoring their own boundaries and needs. A happy family ebbs and flows with life, keeps commitments, seeks balance & integrity, and chooses loving and productive habits. They are loyal to each other & remember that serving others is a high priority.
What do you think? Do you like this definition? Is this definition how you would describe a happy family? What would you add or take away? How happy is your family & what creates this happiness?
I’m curious how you would answer these questions.
DISCLAIMER: These are my opinions and should not be used as replacement for professional advice.
Who Taught Your Family To Be Happy?
Do you know how to be happy? You did as a kid, naturally. At least for a time.
But, do you remember happiness? If you do, you show people around you each day, maybe without even knowing you are.
Is your family naturally silly and playful, or happy? Maybe there is one person who leads this behavior? Is happiness your go-to, or your family’s go-to? Happiness is a great way to be and an honorable pursuit.
This pursuit of joy and calm seems to be the focus of most people in our society for themselves and their loved ones. Many parts of this “Happiness Recipe” are taken for granted or ignored, **like it’s easy** to “be happy” or that WE SHOULD KNOW HOW TO BE HAPPY.
Who has taught you to be happy?
Can you easily answer this question? Because if you can, you are lucky. Not all of us have an obvious happiness teacher. And some of us don’t ever loose that God given happiness from the beginning.
Some of us might need to teach ourselves what happiness means again. And, if we have to realize what happiness means after years of being around “Negative Ned or Nelly”, this realization can be quite a challenge.
So, if you know who your family’s happiness teacher is, follow them, encourage them and support them. And, if your family needs a leader in that department, I invite you to take that role on!
Here’s a fun article about happiness from Healthline.com:
How to Be Happy: 25 Habits to Add to Your Routine, by Ann Pietrangelo
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What Is A Happy Family?
How would you describe a happy family? If you were looking from the outside looking in and describing what your definition is of a happy family, what would that include?
Your definition of “happy” may be different than ours. And happy families come in all sizes and blends. Instead of comparing your family to another, dig deep to understand your own concept of happiness.
Choose your words with which you would describe your happy family, even if you don’t have one. Maybe you don’t have kids yet? Or perhaps you don’t have a family. Or, maybe you are in a NOT SO GREAT FAMILY SITUATION. Either way, choose your VISION of your happy family, and write words to describe it.
I believe in the power of visualization! Do you? I believe that you can create what you want in your life by focusing on the positive aspects of what you desire. Here are some great articles on the subject:
Jack Canfield: Visualization Techniques To Affirm Your Desired Outcomes
Forbes: The Power of Visualization And How To Use It
Psychology Today: Seeing Is Believing: The Power of Visualization
Success Magazine: The Power of Visualization
What is important to you in your family? Creating family happiness can be simple (but not always easy) and is ultimately in the eyes of the beholder.
Here are some of the words our family uses to describe a happy family:
A Happy Family Includes:
- Laughter
- Smiling
- Playfulness
- Kindness
- Respect
- Safety
- Teamwork
- Calm
Maybe these would be the things you could see from how they interact, just from observing, not knowing anyone in the family or any dynamics that may exist. Then, there are the deeper “isms” and feelings that we can’t necessarily see.
A Happy Family’s Feelings:
- Trust
- Loyalty
- Dependability
- Sobriety
- Responsibility
- Integrity
- Good Values
- Good Character
I think these make the foundation of a happy family, but **you need to have your own list that you believe in**. If some of the framework or bones are missing, don’t worry. You can still have a happy family. The foundation might not be as sturdy, but no family is perfect, and with enough of the main walls, your happy house can still stand.
Why Is My Family Not Happy-The Hard Questions
If you are suffering in your family, there are ways to find hope, and if you are in a wonderful family, there are ways to offer hope. Each is a powerful gift to give & receive. Look into how to reach out, either way.
Sometimes these opportunities come when you least expect it, especially RIGHT AFTER YOU PRAY ABOUT IT. Now seriously, there is a person who NEEDS to help, look for them. And, there is a person who NEEDS help. LOOK FOR THEM. Each direction will help you in your situation.
Remember that happiness is learned, but so is victimhood and not being responsible for your own feelings. Even with an “almost perfect” family, life still has punches to hand out and happiness doesn’t always seem possible.
It’s how we react to the unpleasant stuff that makes a difference.
Happiness is a choice, just like keeping good posture or forgiving an enemy. These things can seem like chores, the “have-to’s” in life, and aren’t fun.
Learning to find the joy in every moment in life is a habit, and a very powerful skill. It is taught first by your caregivers, and later can be learned from teachers, friends, bosses, co-workers, or from a book or movie.
So many of these things are not in our control.
Here is an article about online family counseling.
What STOPS Happiness In A Family?
The hard things:
- Death in a family
- Mental illness
- Chronic Pain
- A move or change of jobs
- Divorce
- Physical or Sexual abuse
- Drugs or Alcohol abuse
- Crime
I’m sure I missed many. What do you feel stops family happiness?
Choose different people to make up your family if your biological family members aren’t your best option! There are so many loving humans out there, close by, who need a good family member just like you! So visualize what your family looks like and feels like, and be ready to find them.
The road-blocks for stoping happiness in a family **VARY GREATLY**, but that doesn’t mean YOU can’t choose happiness, nor does it mean that your family can’t find some foundation again to create joy & laughter.
Even when happiness seems impossible, **finding joy in the little things** can change a moment in your life. And then it changes 2 moments, and then in your week, your year, and your life.
Try to stay positive, and notice the difference even A BIT OF LAUGHTER, RECEIVING A GIFT or GIVING A GIFT can change a moment in time.
If you need help, you can use online counseling! Here is a link to get started.
Be A Happiness Teacher
What is a happiness teacher? I want one!! (any Elf lovers out there?)
A happiness teacher is a person (or animal) who teaches us to think positively, see the best in people and situations, smiles often, sees the glass half full, and never gives up.
Do you know someone like this? I know many people like this; also, we’ve had some pets this positive, and there are countless stories that have been happiness teachers in my life.
You could take this role on in your family, if you need one. In addition, you could spread happiness in your other circles away from home, like in study groups, with friends over the phone or in line buying groceries.
What a wonderful role, indeed.
Just imagine if each person was actively looking for how they could be a happiness teacher! If we were constantly looking how we could improve someone else’s day, there would oodles of love passed forward.
Be Ready For Happiness Resistance
As you take on your important role as your family’s happiness teacher (or supporter of SENIOR happiness teacher), be ready for some resistance.
Change is hard, and changing into a happy way of feeling is no exception.
So, stay positive when you are pushed to keep things as gloomy as they are. This is just a fear response to change, and your persistence for a happy family will prevail.
Conclusion: What Is Your Definition Of A Happy Family?
Your definition of a happy family may be very different from someone else definition, but yours it all that matters in your world.
Choose your words to describe your ideal happy family to both solidify how you feel about it, or to create what you desire with prayer and visualization.
We often loose the natural feeling of what it’s like to feel happy and need to retrain ourselves a new definition. If our world has been full of pessimistic ideals for a long time, it might be more challenging to shift into a positive state of mind. But, it is possible!
You can choose different people to “BE YOUR FAMILY” when your biological family isn’t the best option. You get to define your happy family! Visualize loving support around you, pray about it daily as a self care routine.
Be a happiness teacher and support the happiness teachers you already know!
The power of positive thought and action are amazing and can change a life with one act of kindness.
